having an old tiny worrisome asian lady as my mother is a small burden
"i love u my dumpling"
good thing he’s buying pampers cause he just shat his pants
some of the most sensitive areas of the female body
kiss me in all the places 😩
Im tryna kiss the inside of ya elbows bitch
well im tryna fuck ya eyebrows off
happy easter here’s a chocolate version of the cross our lord was tortured and killed on
It’s like being in love: giving somebody the power to hurt you and trusting (or hoping) they won’t.
Marina Abramović, Rest Energy
It’s a metaphor
Fun shark attack facts:
- In 1996, toilets injured 43,000 Americans a year. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, 2,600 Americans were injured by room fresheners. Sharks injured 13.
- In 1996, buckets and pails injured almost 11,000 Americans. Sharks injured 13.
- For every human killed by a shark, humans kill approximately two million sharks.
- Humans are assholes.
- Sharks are not assholes.
- Apparently everyone in 1996 lived in a real-life infomercial.